All the Tender Sweetness of a Seasick Crocodile

(Mr Grinnnncccchhh)

For the past few hours I have been in my room brainstorming the ways in which I, a Jew, can make it through the rest of Christmas without being consumed by boredom. Needless to say, this entry is part of that pursuit.

So the common tradition for Jews is a movie and Chinese food, but that only takes up what? At the very most five hours out of the day? So what is one to do when everything is closed, and in my case since most of my friends celebrate the holiday, no one is available to do anything? Also, I’ve always found it funny that the stereotype is non-kosher cuisine paired with cinema. I suppose that reveals how the majority of modern-day Jews (more so the ones portrayed in pop-culture) are secular. My family opted for something a bit different, not because we don’t like Chinese food (we do) or because we keep strict kosher outside of the house (we don’t), but in any case today consisted of falafel and film. Creative, huh?

We went to this Orthodox Jewish restaurant, which was oddly empty. Guess most people DID opt for the Chinese food, or ate out for dinner, or didn’t go out at all. The falafel was good, and this was actually the second year in a row when I had falafel on Christmas- last year I was in Paris with my parents, and came upon a fantastic restaurant in the Jewish quarter, so I suppose we are making this a new tradition. A funny story from our meal today: my parents and I were sitting at the table, and in bursts a man from the Japanese restaurant next door. Turns out he ran out of wasabi, and who has he turned to but the trusty Orthodox Jew next door who sells FALAFEL. Makes lots of sense, right?

After the falafel, we went out to see Sherlock Holmes, which I do recommend, and also recommend that avid Holmes fans keep in mind that the film is pretty different from the stories. I was planning on a double or triple feature, but did not want to deal with the massive crowd in the theatre… I suppose there is a reason that lots of films are released today… after opening presents, guess there’s not much to do until dinner. The movie theatre has also become the place to take family holiday photos, you know, the really festive ones with faces bedecked with 3-D Avatar glasses. Nothing says “celebrate” better than a movie that makes you abhor the human race. (But seriously, go see it, it’s incredible. Sans the glasses shot, of course).

I guess I can’t complain that much, since we Jews do have 8 days worth of Hanukkah, but it is difficult to enjoy Hanukkah in the midst of exam studying and two feet of snow that prevent relatives from coming to the family party. But at least it was a white…day after Hanukkah. But so now I’m home, spreading the anti-Christmas spirit on this blog, and holding out for tomorrow when the world reopens and resets its countdown for New Years day.